Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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