Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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