my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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