38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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