i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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