Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize