watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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