I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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