Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
