her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
