Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
