I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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