it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They took my balls.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
