How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
