on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish I only lived at night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
