It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
