i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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