Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
fuck your aforementioned shoe
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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