This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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