I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
