4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize