I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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