They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize