So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
