am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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