i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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