I seem to have left my pride at pride
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
