I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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