the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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