Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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