First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
