I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
