i think i have two assholes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
