Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
