I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
