I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
