dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
