I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize