i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
