Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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