I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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