cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
