last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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