So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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