I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
