He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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