i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize
