I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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