Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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