Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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