so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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