So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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