How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize