after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
pray to the hookup gods
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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