im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
