This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have tasted many bathrooms
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
