Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize