they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
