You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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