What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
